The beginning of the end.

And so it starts:

I've come to the realization that my life, in all of it's insignificant glory, could indeed be a source of entertainment to others.

Believe me when I say that I've been in denial, and fighting the urge to open my eyes to 'normalcy' for quite some time now. I'm what? 23, 24 years old? Shit, I just turned 24. I've known something was awry for 24 years, 9 months, 1 week, and 5 days now. (Well, assuming I actually gestated for 9 months. I probably didn't. Even in infancy I was defiant, "Let me the fuck out, NOW!". I knew it was better in the long run, I'm convinced.)

I'll start by saying, "I love my family". I'm spoiled rotten, a pain in the ass, and a complete bitch. But, I am what they raised me to be, tenacious and goal oriented (spoiled), independent (pain in the ass), and a complete bitch (a complete bitch).

I love my family because they are, well, my family. But sometimes I wonder if my dad wasn't lying about the rock that they found me under...

If it were just my parents I thought were off-kilter I wouldn't be too alarmed. But apparently, unannounced to me, the whole world has gone mad!

Let me preface that a bit: I'm a new mother. I had my bouncing baby boy in September of 2009 (Well crap, I don't even know my son's birthday... September 2010. 2010! Awesome parent FAIL!). Since I am a new mother I expect that everybody see things my way, and I'm flabbergasted when, lo and behold, they don't! Don't you know I'm infallible?!

Long introduction, only slightly shortened: I've decided to start writing about my life. If not for the amusement of others, then for a historical database of my ineptitude!

Please, enjoy.